Time On My Hands
by Ghislaine Emrys
Summary: Hannibal Heyes has plenty to think about after he is arrested for the first time and his partner is nowhere around.


**Time On My Hands**

The first time I heard the click, I wasn't sure what to think. Didn't know if it was surprise, or fear, or something else. The second time I heard the click, it was resignation. Or maybe anger.

It wasn't the click of tumblers sliding into place on the Brooker 101. I might never hear that sound again.

"Turn around. Slowly."

I complied, and raised my eyes from the safe I'd just cracked to the sheriff's badge. Which was on the brown leather vest of the man standing in front of me. Who was pointing a gun at me. Even though he'd just cuffed my hands behind my back.

I was still thinking about how I felt about being handcuffed when the lawman told me to get moving. He pointed with his gun towards the door, I suppose just in case he thought I was gonna try and escape through the window. Which I might've done if my hands had been free but as it was, I don't know how he thought I'd be able to climb through the bars without help. Maybe he just wasn't thinking.

But I was. I was thinking that if I'd paid less attention to what was in the safe and had just taken the documents as well as the money, I would have got away. I was thinking that I should've been able to open the safe faster. I was thinking that I should've waited until the sheriff had finished his rounds, 'cos even though it meant waiting a lot longer, what did that matter if I got clean away after. I was thinking that if I was lucky, the sheriff wouldn't notice the bars on the windows had been spread apart but the bar spreader was nowhere around, meaning I had a partner.

I was thinking how glad I was that Jed hadn't got caught also.

We reached the door and I stopped, waiting for the sheriff to tell me what to do. He obliged. "Turn right, son. Jail's over that way." He pushed me out and I walked down the steps.

Conscious of all the townsfolk staring at me. Well, everyone who was awake at half past one o'clock in the morning. Which, I was glad to see, wasn't very many people. But there was still light in the saloon and there were still some men standing around outside, and they all saw me. Being marched down the street at the wrong end of a gun with my hands manacled behind me. I kept my head up high anyway.

Some of them laughed and some of them just pointed and whispered to each other. One of them raised a bottle to me; don't know what he thought he was cheering. Another spat a stream of tobacco juice that barely missed my left boot as I passed by.

I kept walking. Good thing I was in the shadows 'cos my face felt bright as a tomato.

One fella stood off by himself and I felt his gaze on me long after I'd passed him by. I couldn't tell what Jed was thinking.

==0==0==0==

We finally reached the sheriff's office and he moved around to unlock the door, fumbling a little with the key because his right hand still held the gun on me. Pretty steady it was, too. He pushed the door open with his foot and he pushed me inside with his free hand.

I guess I was still kinda surprised at what'd happened because if I'd thought faster, maybe I could've escaped right then. Before he had a chance to light the lantern and tell me to go on over to the cell with the open door. But I wasn't thinking clearly and just followed his order when I could see where to go.

"Inside." He was waiting for me but I didn't see no reason to make it any easier for him. I mean, I'd been caught red-handed but I still had some pride left.

"I think you're making a mistake, Sheriff," I started.

"Oh, yeah? How's that?"

He was laughing at me. There wasn't no smile on his face but he was laughing all the same. Still, I had to try, right?

"You see, sir, it's like this. My uncle, well, he's the bank manager, and he told me to go over to the bank and get something from the safe for him. Said it was real important and couldn't wait til morning. He only remembered after he'd got home and, well, he don't like to leave the house at night, what with my aunt and cousins needing him and all. So I offered to fetch it for him and he gave me the combination so's I could get it." I knew I could tell a convincing story to just about anyone. "When you found me in the bank, I was only trying to find what it was he wanted. I know how it looked but you made a simple mistake, is all," I finished with a smile.

"Uh huh." That didn't sound like he was gonna let me go. His next words confirmed it. "The only mistake I'd be making is if I let you walk out of here."

He looked at me for a good long moment. "You'd be a mite more convincing if you'd known the bank manager is a woman, name of Mrs. Halloran."

And then he was laughing at me.

Wasn't nothing else to say after that.

"Go on, son. Inside."

Still I hesitated. I mean, it was bad enough hearing those cuffs snap shut. I couldn't imagine what it'd be like hearing the cell door clang shut. Guess I was about to find out.

I took a small step and then another. The sheriff stood behind me, waiting. There was nothing I could do so I just kept walking forward. I didn't turn around when he closed the door so he couldn't see me wince. Banging shut, it sounded so loud. So final.

I stood there, my back to him. I wasn't about to let him see my face. See how scared I was. Not until I could hide it. No one ever saw me scared. No one. Ever.

"Come on over here, son." I think he was trying to be nice, calling me "son" all the time. But I wasn't his son, nor anyone else's, anymore. So I stayed where I was. I wasn't ready to face him yet anyway.

He sighed. "I can't take the cuffs off you if you're all the way over there."

A perfectly reasonable observation. I thought about being stubborn but then I remembered that saying—cut off your nose to spite yourself. My ma was always saying that to me. So I went over to the bars and stuck my arms through them 'cos he wasn't close enough to reach through to unlock the handcuffs. He wasn't holding his gun on me no more but I put the thought of trying to reach for it out of my mind when I saw it wasn't in his holster neither. Guess he'd put it somewhere safe when my back was turned.

I didn't rejoice or nothing when my hands were free 'cos I was still locked up in jail. "Now what, Sheriff?"

"You see that bed there? You're going to go to sleep and I'm going to stay up the rest of the night in case your gang comes and tries to break you out. I'll be sitting right over there." He pointed to the chair behind the desk in the center of the room, facing the door.

"Gang? I don't have no gang!" I protested.

"No? Then what happened to the bar spreader you used to get inside the bank?"

Oh. He did notice.

"I'm not in any gang," I repeated. I mean, a gang has to have more than two people, right? So I wasn't really lying.

"If you say so."

"I do say so!"

"Sure. Why don't you lie down and think about it." Then the grin came off his face and he looked at me seriously. "You're in a mess of trouble, boy. You'd best start thinking what you're going to say to the judge."

I wanted to know when the judge was coming and what would happen then. But I wasn't gonna give the law the satisfaction of seeing me scared. So I went and lay down on the bed. It didn't sag more than a couple inches. I'd slept on worse.

"What time you serve breakfast around here, Sheriff?"

"Don't worry, you'll get fed. Criminals always get a good meal here before we send them off to prison."

I didn't get much sleep that night.

==0==0==0==

When the sheriff locked the cuffs on me the next morning, I still wasn't used to the sound. And they rubbed against my wrists as the sheriff held my right arm and we walked over to the courthouse. All in all, I wasn't liking the day any better than last night.

I'd never been in a courthouse before. The lawman took me through the double doors and into a room off to the left of the corridor. It wasn't big but there was a passel of people inside, sitting on the wooden benches like they was in church on a Sunday morning. Maybe they were gonna pray for my release.

I was pushed into a chair and the handcuffs were taken off. I kept my hands under the table so no one would notice I was rubbing the hurt outta them.

"All rise!" a man near the front of the room called out, and everyone did. We stood until a man in a black robe, obviously the judge, came in and sat down behind a large desk. He banged one of those wooden hammers, that was carved up all fancy-like, on the desk, and then we all sat down.

The judge read some papers the other man gave him. "Hannibal Heyes?"

The man who'd told us to stand up went over and whispered something to him. The judge looked in my direction. I didn't know what I was supposed to do so I did nothing.

"Are you Hannibal Heyes?" the judge asked, staring at me.

"Yes, sir," I said, adding the sir 'cos it couldn't hurt.

"Stand when you address the court," the other man ordered.

I stood up. Didn't want to get on the wrong side of the judge. Well, not anymore than I already was. "Yes, sir," I repeated.

"The charges against you are breaking and entering, armed robbery, and willful destruction of property. How do you plead?"

I thought I was innocent until proven guilty. They hadn't proved anything yet. So I was innocent. "Not guilty," I said in what I hoped was a confident-sounding voice. "Sir."

I also thought I was supposed to have a lawyer. I didn't see no lawyer there. Far as I knew, I was still in the United States though, and that was one of my constitutional rights. Learned that in school, I did. "Excuse me. Sir? I thought I could have a lawyer, sir?"

The sheriff sitting next to me turned and gave me a glare. I kept my eyes on the judge. I knew there were crooked judges and there were decent judges. I needed to know what kind this one was.

"Of course. You can have any lawyer you can afford, Mr. Heyes."

Well, there was my answer.

"Anything else you have to say to this court?"

Glumly, I shook my head.

"You are hereby remanded into the custody of the sheriff until your trial, which," the judge consulted a calendar on his desk, "shall be three days hence." He banged his hammer. "Next case!"

Back on went the cuffs, back I was paraded through the street to the jail, back inside the cell I went. I wished I could turn the clock back also. To about midnight the day before. Before I got caught. Before those metal rings locked my hands together and… I stopped that train of thought. There was no point in thinking back. I had to focus on what was happening now. On the future. On how I was gonna get out of here.

==0==0==0==

One more day until my trial. I still had no lawyer and wasn't about to get one, neither, seeing as how I had no money to pay for him. I mean, if I had money, why would I be robbing the bank?

I wondered where Jed was. I hoped he was far away from here. He was still kind of young and I didn't want him to see his cousin taken away to prison. For that matter, I didn't want to see it neither. Maybe Jed could get a real job, an honest job, somewhere. Make a new start. Another new start, that is. A better one than what he had with me. Maybe he could find work on a farm and they'd take him in. They'd like him for sure and they'd make him part of the family, give him enough to eat and let him call them ma and pa and when he was old enough, he'd find a nice girl and he could settle down and start his own family and when the time came, he'd inherit the old folks' farm and he'd be happy. Jed would like that. I'd like that for Jed.

But I'd never have that. I couldn't. I'd be in prison. Locked away for who knows how long. By the time I got out, I'd be an old man. And for what? That two hundred dollars in the safe? Was it worth it? Well, when you're hungry and cold, and the only other person you…care about…looks at you and begs you for food, and you don't got none, well, a man's got to do something.

I thought a lot while I was locked in that cell.

The deputies let me out three or four times every day to use the outhouse in the back. Said they had to guard me night and day and they didn't want to sit in no stinking jail so I had to go outside instead of use a chamber pot. That suited me fine. I wanted to see the sky and the trees and the birds flying wherever the wind took them. I wanted to see freedom.

But every time I went out, first I had to stand against the wall in my cell. My cell-as if I owned it!—while one of them covered me with his six-gun and the other manacled me. At least my hands were cuffed in front now. Course, I couldn't very well take care of business myself if they weren't. So it wasn't like they had a choice.

I was sort of getting used to being shackled. My wrists no longer hurt when they put them on, guess I was getting used to the weight. And I was getting kind of good at doing things with my hands confined like that. First time in the outhouse, it was real difficult but ain't no way I was gonna ask for help. I managed and it got easier as time went on.

The embarrassment also went away. Every time I was taken outside, there were people around and they were staring at me. Nothing I could do about it so I ignored them best I could and by the end of the second day, I didn't hardly notice them anymore.

Still, if I'd had a choice, I would've preferred not to be led around in handcuffs same as if I was a dog on a leash.

==0==0==0==

I guess the sheriff thought I'd try and escape when the day of my trial came 'cos after he put the handcuffs on, he put fetters around my ankles too and fastened them real tight. I could barely walk, what with my hands behind me and my feet locked so close together. The two deputies held my arms and steered me over to the courthouse, followed by the sheriff with his gun. Even though it was November and I only had my gray-striped jacket, I didn't feel the cold that day as I was led the short distance down the main street.

"Poor boy," I heard someone say. I didn't need pity. I needed a way out. But I couldn't think of anything.

"You reap what you sow," another person intoned. Well, I knew all about farming too, and it wasn't oats I was trying to raise.

"An eye for an eye!" I tried to spot who'd said that but couldn't tell from all the crowd.

Once inside the building, we went to the same room I'd been in previous. It was filled again with spectators. I shuffled up to the same chair and table and one of the deputies removed the shackles. There was no way I could ease the throbbing in my feet without someone noticing and I wasn't about to let anyone see they'd hurt, so I sat in the chair and tried to think about something else. Like, what was gonna happen in the next few minutes.

==0==0==0==

The trial itself was short. How could it not be, when I had no lawyer to defend me? When I had no alibi or witnesses to speak for me? When I had no good reason for being in the bank, in front of the open safe, in the middle of the night, with one hand on the money and the other on a gun?

I said my piece but I could tell the jury didn't buy it.

"Mr. Heyes, stand up. Mr. Foreman, have the jury reached a verdict?"

"Yes, Your Honor." The foreman looked at me. Again with the pity. I rejected it, rejected him and all the rest of the townsfolk, enjoying themselves at my expense. I hardened myself to what I knew was about to come.

"On the charge of breaking and entering: Guilty. On the charge of armed robbery: Guilty. On the charge of willful destruction of property: Guilty."

Someone gasped. It wasn't me.

I kept my face blank. I was good at that, just as good as I was at cracking safes. I'd learned early not to let people see how I felt. I turned away from the jury and faced the judge.

"Mr. Heyes, you have been found guilty of all charges. Have you anything to say before I sentence you?"

Now was my chance. I could tell him about my folks. About Jed and how I was the only one he had to take care of him. I could tell him I was sorry and it wouldn't happen again. I could lie.

The judge was waiting. "Mr. Heyes?"

Slowly I shook my head.

"Then, I hereby sentence you to twenty years in the territorial prison. Case closed."

They put the handcuffs and fetters on again. I didn't feel a thing. I was numb. I didn't even hear the door clang shut behind me after I was back in my cell at the jail.

==0==0==0==

The sheriff was right—they did feed me real good before sending me off to prison. After breakfast the next day, I was put in a wagon. This time, I was real aware of the shackles around my hands and feet. I felt every inch of the cold metal on my skin. Even through my boots. And then they slung a rope through the handcuffs and tied it to a ring in the wagon. Sheesh! It wasn't like I was some famous, dangerous outlaw or something.

I was in that wagon for I don't know how many hours. There was only the one deputy

driving the horses, guess they figured I was locked up so tight wasn't any need for another. It got mighty lonely sitting there all by myself but I didn't want the journey to end. Both deputies had told me stories of what life in prison was gonna be like. Didn't know if they were true or not, seeing as how they'd never actually been inside, having always been on the right side of the law and all, but I reckoned it was gonna be bad enough.

The horses plodded on and I tried to plot an escape but none of the schemes I thought of would work. I needed a partner for them and my partner was long gone. All I could do was try and sit so's the chains didn't pull on me. That kept me busy 'cos the deputy made sure to go over every one of them bumps in the road.

Each time we passed through a town, the deputy was real careful. He didn't stop to rest himself nor the horses. He didn't talk to no one. I suppose he was afraid some gang members would try and free me. I knew that wasn't gonna happen.

It was getting on towards early afternoon when the wagon finally came to a halt.

"You stay right there, Heyes. I'll be back shortly."

I stared at him until he wiped the smirk off his face and walked off the road and into the trees.

==0==0==0==

When he came back, Jed was with him. The deputy had his hands in the air and Jed was holding his own gun in his right hand and the deputy's gun in his left.

"Howdy, Han!" Jed put the deputy's gun in his holster and grinned at me.

"Where'd you come from?" I'd never been so glad to see anyone. Still, I was careful not to call him by name. Didn't want his name getting known to the law.

"Tell you all about it later. Gotta get you free first." He looked at me, then at the deputy. "Where are the keys?"

"What keys?"

"The keys to all this." I shook the chains around my hands and feet.

"Sheriff's got 'em back in town. Just in case something like this happened." The deputy smiled. "Too bad. Now your friend's gonna go to jail, too."

I pondered on that for a bit. There was a flaw in there somewhere. I grinned. "You're lying! You got to have duplicates so you can unlock them at the prison."

His expression told me I'd figured right. I said to Jed, "I bet they're in his boot or under his hat. Not in his pockets."

Jed found the keys quickly enough and held them up triumphantly. He turned one key in the lock on the handcuffs but it didn't work. Turning it the other way still didn't open them.

I was getting impatient. Someone could ride along any moment and then we'd be done for. "C'mon, Je…!" Just in time, I caught myself.

"I'm tryin', Han!" And he was. Jed tried the other key but in his haste, he fumbled it. Finally he got the dang things open and I shook my hands free.

I didn't have time to feel any relief or joy. We needed to get outta there. Jed gave me the other key and I quickly unlocked the shackles around my feet.

All the time Jed and I were trying to get me free, the deputy was telling us how much we were gonna regret doing this. Funny how, before, when he wasn't talking I kinda missed it but now he wouldn't stop, I didn't want to hear it. I pulled off his bandana and gagged him. Then I pulled his arms behind his back and put the handcuffs on him. His eyes widened as I held up the key and smiled.

"Han, let's go!" Now it was Jed urging me to hurry up.

I spared another look at the deputy, serious now. "Don't worry, I'm not taking the key with me. You treated me decent so I'll do the same for you." I put the key in his vest pocket. "Someone'll come along eventually and find you."

We left him there by the side of the road. If he wanted to walk somewhere or stay by the wagon, it made no never mind to me.

I followed Jed to his horse and we rode away as fast as she could carry us.

==0==0==0==

"Han, I'm sorry."

It was dark now and we'd made camp someplace I hoped was safe. The cold dinner of hardtack and jerky never tasted better. I'd been thinking how good it was to be with my cousin again and Jed's words surprised me.

"What for? You don't have anything to be sorry for."

"I ran away. I left you there all alone."

Oh. "But if you hadn't, you'd have been caught too. What good would that have done?"

He shrugged. Maybe he thought I was disappointed in him. I wasn't, but there was something I'd been wondering about all afternoon. "Why did you come back, Jed?"

He looked at me, amazed. "You're my partner, Han! And, you're family. I wouldn't ever leave you!"

"I saw you by the saloon," I said, hoping he'd take the hint and tell me how he'd gotten safely away.

"I couldn't warn you 'bout the sheriff in time but I had to find out what they were gonna do to you." He looked at me curiously. "What was it like in jail?"

I didn't want to talk about being in jail. Being scared and shackled and looked down on by everybody. Thinking about what was gonna happen to me. "Boring," I said. "It was real boring."

That seemed to satisfy Jed. But I wasn't done asking questions. "How'd you know where to catch the deputy?"

He brightened. "I got the idea from a dime novel, Han! The hero stayed outta sight but tracked the outlaws for half a day and when they finally took a rest, the hero caught them by surprise. So I followed you. I knew the deputy was gonna have to stop sometime and then I could get you free."

"Well, it worked, Jed. I won't complain about your reading material ever again!" I decided that next time I had some money, I'd buy a dime novel and surprise him. "But I was afraid you'd have to shoot the locks off when the key didn't work."

"I couldn't have done that! I might've missed!" Jed looked shocked at the idea.

"Nah," I assured him. "You're too good to miss. But I was glad you used the keys instead." I grinned at the expression on his face and explained, "A shot would've told people where we were and then it might've been harder to get away."

"The handcuffs were locked real tight, Han." Jed was apologetic. "I'm sorry I couldn't get them off you faster."

"But you did get them off, and I'm beholden to you." More than he would ever know. How could I tell him he'd given me my life back? He was too young for that responsibility. It was supposed to be the other way around. I was supposed to take care of him.

But now, now I was a convicted criminal on the run from the law. Things had been hard enough before, but what was life gonna be like now?

"Han?" Jed searched my face, hesitated. "Han, how did it feel, havin' those handcuffs on you?"

My gaze dropped to my hands as I tried to figure out how to answer. Usually, I could tell Jed anything. But not this time. I couldn't tell him how I felt every time I heard those clicks and felt the iron snap around my wrists. How I felt when my hands were locked in place. When I couldn't do even the simplest things without difficulty. 'Cos I still wasn't sure.

Then, all of a sudden, I knew. And I didn't want to share how I felt. Not with Jed. Not with anyone. Because what I felt was…ashamed.


End file.
